Ready to say Goodbye
by Chickee1
Summary: My take on the season 8 Premiere. Sara is seriously injured, but can is Grissom ready to say goodbye


Title: Ready to say Goodbye  
Author:Chickee1  
Rating: PG-13, language  
Summary: Sara was seriously injured while in the desert and it tired. Can Grissom say goodbye to the one women that he's only ever loved in order for her to finally be at peace.  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from CSI. I am only a fan who enjoys writing stories that takes an interest in the show.  
Authors Note: Since Jorja Fox has left CSI now, this is my take on what should've happened in the season premiere of season 8. Song used is 'When you remember' by Carrie Underwood'

She couldn't remember how long she had been under the car, but all Sara knew was that she couldn't give up, she knew the harder she tried to stay alive the sooner Grissom would find her. 'Gil...Gil' she cried out into the wind and rain. And just than it was like magic she felt as if someone was pulling her out from under the car. In one swift motion she was free, but now had the hardest task ever, to find help, 'Thank You' she whispered into the wind as she stumbled away from the car that was being covered in mud.

"Grissom over here" called Nick as they ran towards what was left of the red convertible. "Sara...Sara" called Grissom as he and Nick dug the mud away from the car. "Gris" said Nick as he pulled a black vest from the mud. "No" whispered Grissom as he rose to his feet and quickly wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall from his face. "She's not gone...she's out there" he said as Cath placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know..and we'll find her" she whispered. Taking out his binoculars Grissom noticed stacked stones heading west from his direction, "Cath look" he said as he handed her the stones and took off in that direction. "Good girl Sara" whispered Cath as she ran after Grissom.

'So tired...need to take a second to breath' Sara said to herself as she suddenly fell onto the hard ground. 'So tired...Grissom'. "Sara...Sara" called Grissom as he spotted a figure lying on the ground. "Cath call the medical vac...I've got her". Grissom felt as if someone had pulled his heart right out of his chest, examining her body he noticed the cuts and brusies. Anger was taking over him, 'Oh Sara...I should've been there. I'm so sorry' he whispered to himself.

"Sir we need you to step back so we can work on her" one of the paramedics said as they moved Grissom on the side beside Catherine. Within minutes they had an IV in her and were loading her onto a stretcher. "Where are you taking her" yelled Cath over the helicopter. "Desert Palms" one man called back. "Move over I'm going with her" said Grissom as he motioned to get into the chopper. "No room, and family only", he was told. Right away Grissom stepped up into the chopper, "I'm her husband, now move over, I'm going with my wife" he said trying to remain calm.

"_Do you Gilbert take Sara to be your wife, to have and to hold through sickness and health for better or worse till death do you part?" _

"_I do" he said with a smile_

"_And do you Sara take Gilbert to be you husband, to have and to hold through sickness and health, for better or worse till _

_death do you part?"_

"_Even in death we will never be apart. I do" Sara said with a smile_

"_By the sate of Nevada and the city of Las Vegas, you may kiss the bide"_

_It was a slow but yet passionate kiss, a kiss that would last a lifetime for both Grissom and Sara._

What seemed like a lifetime had really only been a few hours. Sara was taken into surgery and Grissom hadn't heard a word since. "Hey Gris, how you holding up?" Cath asked as she took a seat beside him. "I...I'm okay I guess", he answered in a low voice. "Have you heard anything about Sara?" She asked. Grissom suddenly felt emotion building up inside of him just at the sound of her name, instead he shook his head 'no'. "The team I sent home, I told them I'd let them know if and when we heard anything. I'm going to get a coffee, would you like one?" Cath asked as she stood up from the chair. "She's going to be fine Gil". "Coffee would be nice, thank you" was all he could say.

"How's he holding up?" Jim asked as he ran into Catherine in the lounge. "I don't know..he's trying to hide the emotion when he really just needs to let it out. Jim...did you know about Grissom and Sara?" she asked. "Depends on what you mean by what did I know exactly" he answered. "Did you know they were married?" She asked. Slowly Jim nodded his head, "It was a small ceremony at the courthouse. They wanted it quiet, and they asked me if I'd be their witness" he continued. "How long?" Was all Catherine could say as she grabbed the coffee's. "Together since Nick's abduction, after they found him, it was like a sign. Married for only a few months".

" _Who allows this man to have this woman"_

"_I do" said Brass as he lifted Sara's vail and placed a kiss on her cheek. _

"_Thank you Jim" she said with a tear in her eye. _

"_Anything for you butterfly"_

_Jim stood back as he watched a good friend of his, marry a women whom he had considered a daughter. Tears began _

_forming in his eyes, but at least he knew they were happy tears._

"Mr Grissom?" the doctor called as he approached the man holding his head in his hands. "Yes" answered Grissom. "How's my wife?" He asked suddenly standing up and realizing he shouldn't have feeling the dizziness hitting him. "Why don't we sit down" the doctor suggested. "I'm sorry but I don't have good news about your wife's condition". Suddenly the emotion that had been building up inside of Grissom was released, with tears in his eyes and anger in his voice he looked cold at the man sitting beside him, "What are you saying?" he asked. "I'm saying that your wife probably won't make it through the night, and if she does she'll be on a ventilation system for good...she's in a coma in a vegetative state. I'm sorry".

As Catherine and Jim walked towards Grissom they saw the doctor sitting with him and the look on Grissom's face was like no one had ever seen before. "Doctor, I'm detective Jim Brass, I'm assuming you're here because you have news on Sara Sidles condition?" Asked Jim as he walked closer to his friend. "As I've just told Mr. Grissom, his wife is in critical condition, and more than likely will not make it through the night. I'm sorry. If you have any other friends of family wishing to say their goodbyes, I would suggest you let them know. One at a time for visitors and please make them short, she's in room 213", the doctor said as he rose to his feet, taking one last look at Grissom he placed a hand on his shoulder, "I am sorry" he whispered as he walked away.

Tears began forming in Catherine's eyes and Jim pulled her into his arms, "It'll be okay. Catherine do you want me to phone the others?" he asked. Pulling back Catherine wiped her eyes, "No, I'll do it. Stay with Grissom" she said. Stepping over to Grissom she kneeled in front of him, slowly he lifted his head and Cath could see the tears in his eyes, "I can't let her go Catherine" was all he could say through the tears. Catherine pulled her friend into her arms, "I know Gil...I know". "I need to see her" whispered Grissom as he broke the embrace with Catherine and headed off towards Sara's room.

"Jim I don't think I can do this" said Catherine as she replaced the empty seat with her body. Taking the seat next to her, Jim puled out his cell phone. "We'll do it together". Jim quickly dialled Warrick's number in hopes that he hadn't gone to sleep yet, but mind you who could sleep with everything that has been happening. "Warrick" he answered. "Warrick is Brass...I'm here with Catherine we're at the hospital" he said. "How are things, I'm with the team we couldn't go home without knowing what was going on so we grabbed something to eat. How is Sara doing?" he asked. A long silent pause awaited Warrick's answer and it was then that he knew something was wrong. "Brass...how is Sara?' he asked again.

Brass could feel his own tears forming in his eyes, this was not a good time for the news to sink in. "Ummm...the doctor was just here...it's not good. He said that we should probably say our goodbye's tonight. They don't think she's going to make it" he finally said. Stunned Warrick didn't know what to say, "Umm okay. I'll ah...tell the team". Brass quickly hung up the phone and turned back to Catherine who once again had begun crying, "It's going to be a long night" he said, as the tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Warrick what's wrong?" asked Nick as he noticed the concerned look his friends face. "Umm...Sara...they don't think she's...ah...going to make it through the night" he whispered. Stunned faces went around the table no one knowing what to say. "Brass suggested that we go and say our goodbye" Warrick said as he rose from the table. Nick soon followed, but both him and Warrick realized that Greg wasn't following. "Come on buddy" Nick said as he tried to pull Greg from the bench. "I can't believe we have to say goodbye...there's just so much..." but he couldn't finish. "I know. Come on Greg..Sara needs us now more than ever" said Nick as he placed a comforting shoulder around his friend.

Grissom couldn't believe what he was seeing, his wife, the love of his life was hooked up to various machines. He stood at the doorway hoping that he'd wake up from this nightmare and they'd be at their home in their bed. But the longer he closed his eyes the more he realized how real this was. Slowly Grissom made his way to his wife's bedside, taking her hand in his he kissed it. "Sara...Sara I'm here" he whispered. Tears began to fall from his face, but he didn't bother to whip them because that would mean taking his eyes off his wife for a second. And in a second he's learned that life can change without warning.

Staring at Sara, emotion overwhelmed him. "Please baby...wake up for me. I love you so much. When you get better, we'll go on that vacation you've wanted. Head off to the rainforest, where we won't have to worry about anything. And there we can think of names for the baby". 'The baby' he thought...suddenly he realized that if Sara died so did their unborn child. He couldn't bare to loose both...if he lost Sara the baby would be all he'd have left of her, but if he lost both, he'd have nothing.

"How's Grissom doing?" asked Warrick as he approached Jim and Catherine who had remained in their seats. " Not good but did you expect more. He's in with her now, he's lost I've never seen him like this" Jim said as he stood up. "I figured you guys are probably going to find out sooner or later any ways but ah...I know you found out that Sara and Grissom have been together for awhile. But what you didn't' know is that they recently had gotten married". "Grissom and Sara...married...when?" asked Greg. "A few months ago...the reason I'm telling you this is because if we loose Sara tonight...a part of Grissom is going to die and it's not because of an office romance...their soul mates", said Jim. Silence arose in the waiting room, all the news that they had gotten in the past day was too much for anyone to handle, let alone process.

"Mr. Grissom, sorry to disturb you but I got some of your wife's test results back...and I wanted to make sure you were aware of her pregnancy" he said as he stepped upon the other side of Sara. "I knew" he whispered.

"_Sara are you okay?" asked Grissom as he found Sara sitting on their couch. _

"_I don't know" she whispered._

"_Honey what's wrong" he asked looking very concerned. _

"_Are you happy? I mean are you happy with just you and I?" she asked. _

"_Of course I'm happy, what do you mean"?_

"_Well, would you be happy if we had an addition to the family?"_

"_You wanna get Hank a friend?" Grissom said with a smile_

"_Not exactly..I mean an addition for us?"_

"_Sara are you..."_

"_Gil...I'm pregnant"_

_Excitement flowed through Grissom, that night he took his wife to bed and began something that had been the cause of this new addition, but both were so excited. Laying in bed Grissom thought to himself, 'I have a beautiful wife, and I'm finally going to be a father'. _

"Mr Grissom...the chances of the baby surviving while your wife is on life support is slim but it's a decision that when the time comes you will have to make." Raising his head with pain in his eyes Grissom looked at the doctor standing in front of him, "So you're saying that tonight I'm probably going to loose both my wife and unborn child?" he asked. Slowly the doctor nodded his head, "Her injuries are too severe, and the baby wouldn't get the proper nutrition and fluids if she were to remain on life support for that amount of time". With that said the doctor left the room, leaving Grissom with his dying wife and unborn child.

A few hours passed before Grissom emerged from Sara's room, walking towards his team he couldn't bare to look at their expressions. "Umm...the doctor said that if you want to see her now...ah...you can...but one at a time and short visits" said Grissom as he kept his head down and continued to look at the ground. With that said he walked off, "Should someone go after him?" asked Greg with concern for his boss. "No, he needs this time to think about this" answered Catherine. The team all stood looking in the direction of Sara's room, "I don't think I can go yet" said Greg as he looked at his friends. "I know this is going to be hard..but we all need to do this. I'll go first" said Warrick as he headed towards Sara's room.

**When you look back on times we had  
I hope you smile  
And know that through the good and through the bad  
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down  
We claimed the brightest star  
And we, we came so far  
And no they won't forget**

"Oh Sara...I can't believe this is happening. I don't know what to say, just because I don't want to say goodbye to you. Hey, do you remember the case with the deaf kid that was killed and we learned that Grissom signed.

"_So that's why Grissom is late" Sara had said as she noticed Grissom walking with a women. _

_"You just don't like other women in his life" Warrick commented. _

_"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that". _

Letting out a small chuckle, Warrick smiled. "I guess there wasn't another women, seems you've only ever been the only women for Grissom. Let me tell you it was a surprise when we found out about you too, but I couldn't be happier for you. I guess weather it's him or you, you're both always giving us surprises. I'm going to miss you girl", with that said, Warrick placed a soft kiss on Sara's hand and headed toward the door, quickly whipping his tears he took one last look at his friend and left the room.

"You okay man?" Nick asked as Warrick approached them. "Yah, as good as could be expected, I guess", he answered. "Okay, I guess I'm next" said Nick as he headed towards the room. Opening the door, tears immediately began to cover his vison. 'Oh Sara' he said to him self as he walked up closer to her. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it.

**Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believed that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember**

"_You think she's alive, you're acting like your going to rescue a person not recover a body. And on this job that's just no usually the case" Sara had said to Nick during a case. _

_"I was rescued" he answered. He knew the team wouldn't let him down and he wasn't going to let this little girl down. _

_"It was not your day to die. When it's your day..it's your day ya know". _

"Sara you never gave up on me, and you rescued me. And I am not going to give up on you. You mean too much to mean and to this team. Today isn't your day to die, no matter what you think. Be strong, we're all here for you and we'll be waiting when you wake up. It's just not your day", whispered Nick before leaving the room.

"Hey Greggo...do you want one of us to go with you?" asked Nick as he sat beside his friend. "No...as much as I don't want to do this. I guess I have too" he said as he rose to his feet and headed towards the room. Taking a breath, Greg stood outside the room before entering. 'I can do this' he whispered to himself as he stepped inside.

**When you think back on all we've done  
I hope you're proud  
When you look back and see how far we've come  
It was our time to shine**

**And nobody could hold us downThey thought they'd see us fall  
But we, we stood so tall  
And no we won't forget**

"_Hey Sara, I just want you to know when we were in the shower, I didn't see anything"_

"_Really? Gosh I saw everything" Sara said with a chuckle. _

Coming back to reality Greg smiled, "You know Sara , Grissom would probably kill me if he knew that I saw you in the nude" said Greg as he approached her bedside. "But luckily for me...I didn't. You two are great together, I knew that one day it'd happen. Sara I don't know what to say...I can't say goodbye. You are like a big sister that I never had, you've always been there for me. I just wish that I could've been there for you. I'm going to miss you".

When Greg arrived back to his seat, he didn't say anything. Nick placed his hand on his friends shoulder. "I know man..I know" whispered Nick as he comforted his friend. Catherine slowly rose to her feet, looking at her team mates and friends she began to take the walk, she never thought she'd have to take.

"Sara, I never really expected how hard this could be. I mean I know we haven't been the best of friends but at the same time we were". Looking around Sara's neck she noticed a necklace and a ring. "I think that was probably the biggest shocker ever...I can honestly say that as a CSI I never saw this coming. You and Grissom, I just wish we had been there for the wedding.".

**Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believed that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember**

"_I can't believe Grissom pulled us off that serial murder case" said Sara as her and Catherine approached a college house. _

"_Yah, let me tell you how it ends, they die" Catherine said with a smile. "Wow, this isn't half bad for college kids" continued Cath. _

"_Yah, why live in a one room flea bag when you can pull your resources and live like this" Sara said. _

"_Hey how about it, you, me, Warrick, Nick and Grissom"_

"_Ah, eww. Not Grissom" Sara said with a smile. _

"I assume that since you two are married that you're living together. I hope it's better than when I suggested we all move in together". Catherine said with a slight laugh. "I'm not going to look at the bad time we've had, we've all shared some good laughs and that is how im going to remember this...remember you. You're one of a kind Sara, and we love ya for it. Thank you for everything, Im going to miss you".

Brass was the last one to go in, he looked at the female form laying on the bed and shook his head. 'This shouldn't be you' he said to himself. "Sara you've always been like a daughter to me, and I was honoured when you asked me to give you away. I swear it was one of the happiest days in my life".

**Yeah, Oh **

We claimed the brightest star  
And we, we came so far  
You know that we, we showed them all  
And no they won't forget

Yeah 

"_Hey Jim do you have a second?" Sara asked as she walked into his office. _

_"For you I think I could...what's up?" he asked. _

_"Well I have kinda personal request of you" she said with a smile. _

_"Does it have something to do with that ring that is on your hand?" He asked as he noticed the shining diamond ring. _

_Closing the door behind her she smiled, "Gil proposed to me...we're getting married", she said._

**Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believed that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember **

Whenever you remember

Oh, whenever you remember 

"_I knew it would happen sometime soon" Jim said as he stood up from his chair and embraced Sara in a hug. __"So that's the request?" He asked. _

_"Will you give me away" she asked with tears forming in her eyes. _

_Emotion began to form in his eyes as well, words could not express how he felt. With a slight nod of his head, Jim pulled Sara into another hug. _

"I was honoured, I just wish that it didn't have to end like this" he said. Lightly kissing Sara's forehead, Jim turned towards the door. "I'm going to miss you butterfly" he whispered as he headed out the door. "Has anyone found Grissom yet?" asked Brass as he walked towards the team. "No, haven't seen him since he told us to say our goodbyes to Sara" answered Warrick. "I'm going to look for him" said Brass as he headed down the hall, in search of his friend.

Grissom had made his way to the chapel that was located in the hospital. As he took a seat in one of the pews he lowered his head and began to pray, something he hadn't done in a very long time. 'Lord, all I have ever wanted was to be happy, to make her happy. I was a fool for so long, and we finally got our happiness only to have it all taken away. Take me, leave her and our unborn child. I can't bare to loose them both' he whispered.

_"Gil...Gil", a voice called. Raising his head, a wave of shock flowed through his body, "Sara" he whispered. Turning his head, he saw his wife standing beside him, looking more beautiful than ever. "Gil, you know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever" she said. "Sara.." he whispered. "Shhh..it's okay. Gil...I'm tired and it's time for me to go. I have to go. Know that you are my one and only and I will miss you. Our life together has been the only home I've ever known and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you, our baby loves you and he knows how much you love him. Gil, be safe. I love you, I always will. Goodbye", and with that Sara was gone._

Grissom woke with a sudden shock, "Sara" he called out, but no one was there. 'It was a dream' he thought. "Gil?" a voice called. Turning around, Grissom saw his old friend, who looked like had aged 10 years in the past few hours, but mind you he probably didn't look any better he thought. "Jim...I can't let her go" he whispered as the tears began to form once again in his eyes. "I know..but you have to" said Jim as he pulled his friend into a hug. "She's tired, she want's to go" said Grissom. "Come on" Brass said as they left the chapel.

"Mr. Grissom...I'm sorry it's that time, do you know what to do?" the doctor asked as he approached Grissom and Brass. "I have to let her go" whispered Grissom. "Give me a minute alone with her" he asked as he walked towards her room. "Of course".

Once again walking in the room, a room that he should've have had to walk into for another 7 months and it wasn't suppose to be anything like this. 7 months from now Sara and him would be welcoming their child into the world, instead Grissom alone is saying goodbye to his wife and child from this world.

"Hey sweetheart...for once I don't have the words to tell you what I'm feeling. The last thing I ever wanted to do was say goodbye to you. You waited for so long for me, and now it's like im losing you all over again when I feel as if I just got you. I love you so much, but I can't be selfish. Sara I love you just as you have loved me and I don't want you to suffer anymore. Baby please forgive me...but I have to say goodbye. Im ready to say goodbye", said Grissom as he placed one final kiss on his wife's lips. Placing a hand on Sara's stomach he whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't save both of you".

It was only a matter of minutes before the doctor announced that Sara had passed. She didn't suffer, and as sad and hard as it was for the team and Grissom to lose her, they all knew she was in a better place.

Hope you've enjoyed it. I havne't written in a long time and I couldn't shake the idea from my head. Please R/R!!


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